Keep a Good Attitude When You Renew

I went to the DMV yesterday with a good attitude to renew my driver's license. I was determined to keep a smile. After the third visit and several hours off work, I've decided my attitude isn't so important. But maybe I can help yours. If you have a driver's license that ever expires (of course yours does), I can offer some tips.

In Utah your driver's license is good for five years. After that, mail some money and you get another five years. After the second five, you have to appear in person, not to show you haven't forgotten how to drive, but just to pay more money, take a new (worse) picture and prove that you are still you.

On my first visit, yesterday, I filled out the form, waited while the pleasant guy on the stool checked to be sure I'd filled out the form, took my picture, gave me a number and told me to go wait. I waited and waited. Then another guy announced, "The system is down. We don't know if it will be minutes or hours. You're welcome to wait." He said that. Tip One: Call before you go.

On my second visit, this morning, the guy on the stool rechecked that I'd filled out the form, retook my picture and gave me a new number. After a wait, my number appeared on the screen for Window 10. "I need your driver license." Ok. "And your birth certificate or passport." What? My license has been good for 10 years, and now you're worried I'm not me? "Let me explain, you also need your Social Security card or W-2." Seriously? I can drive a two-ton vehicle with the license. I can get into Japan with the passport. But that's not sufficient; you also need my SS card? And the stool guy couldn't have told me this yesterday before he took the first picture? Back home I went. Tip Two: Take your old driver's license, proof that you were born and proof that you're paying someone's retirement.

On the third trip I was successful. After the stool guy rechecked my form and retook my picture, I rewaited, and the lady rechecked my credentials, I have a temporary license with a terrible picture (and she said she picked the best of the three). Tip Three: Stick the paper in your wallet and don't look at it.

Tip Four: Understand why the DMV exists. This may help you keep a good attitude as you wait in line. I came up with five reasons. Sorry, I couldn't think of 10 good reasons.

5. Unemployment is over 7 percent.

4. After you've used your driver's license for 10 years to prove you were you to cash checks, obtain major home loans and receive speeding tickets, someone needs to verify that you haven't suddenly become someone else.

3. Fees (taxes). The license renewal is $25. You want motorcycle with that? $35.

2. To remind you that while businesses have become fitter, quicker and more responsive, you can depend on your government to maintain traditions.

1. The DMV reminds us that Wal-Mart's customer service isn't so bad.